Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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