well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
