I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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