Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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