I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
