i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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