A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
