You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Boobs are out for the taking
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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