In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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