No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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