My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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