This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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