I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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