No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Boobs speak an international language.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
