Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
