i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
