I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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