What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
