youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
