So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
