Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
