I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize