Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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