Dual....:-)
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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