he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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