All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
