I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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