theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
