there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
