I'm lost and stupid without you.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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