Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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