I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize