If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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