I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
