you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
