He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
