No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The adults are the big ones right?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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