ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
