Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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