do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
