All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
