maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize