so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There's always time for handjobs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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