dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
