dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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