Your tits are I can't wait for
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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