i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize