I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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