I am midnight drunk by noon
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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