Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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