Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize