would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
