so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
