i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
