What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
