It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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