You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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