did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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