Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
