And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
