My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
