You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i think im in europe. pls send help
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