Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
